What creates scar tissue??? Our ruminating minds create a thickening, a shield around our wounds. Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy said, “Time heals all wounds. I don’t entirely agree with that statement. I think in time, and with life, in general, we tend to cover-up what we feel, shame, fear, and guilt to keep us somewhat sane and unashamed; hence a thickening occurs within our being. A build-up, a blocking of our energy, our life force declines, and it shapeshifts our experiences with ourselves and others.
We don’t always know how to identify our wounds, or even believe we can or want to let go of them, much less know how or where to go to elevate the suffering, so we stuff it, hide it in our minds until it decides to reveal itself in some form of expression.
We are conditioned, coded, and told to believe certain aspects of ourselves to get along in this life. Trauma happens to us intentionally or unintentionally by our caregivers, friends, and extended people who are also working their drama out with us. Everyone takes on a load of emotional baggage which eventually becomes the suitcases we carry around with us and unpack when the trigger gets pulled.
We sometimes manage to decorate ourselves in our wounds because we don’t know what else to do with them, we may even wear them as a badge of honor.
Just like a physical wound, our mind forms mental scar tissue that covers the hurt and pain which enables us to move on with our lives.
There is an excellent metaphor about holding on to our beliefs:
“Two Buddhist monks return to their monastery after the rains. They reach a swollen river and in front of them is an extremely beautiful lady in a delicate silk kimono, distressed because she is unable to cross the river by herself. So, the older monk scoops her up, carries her safely to the other side, and the two monks continue on their way in silence.
Five hours later, as the two monks reach their destination, the younger monk, literally fuming, bursts out, “How could you do it? You touched a woman; you know we’re not allowed to do that!”
The older monk replies, “I put her down 5 hours ago, but you are still carrying her with you.”What Do I Need To Let Go Of? – Life Coach
That is is exactly what we do with our emotional wounds we carry them around with us, mind fuck ourselves over and over. We think we hide our injuries, but we don’t. They eventually come to the surface, and we any luck at all, we can see it has an opportunity to abort the old patterns or take something out of our suitcase to lighten the load.
Unless we can identify, and get to the root of the self-inflicted emotional aggression(s), leave it where it began, or release it with an understanding of its purpose, it can take control of our lives in some way; whether it is in our relationships or our addictions. Eventually, rendering us comfortably numb, physically sick or dead inside.
On the upswing, wounds can work for some of us, it can be a rich source of imaginative expression and a way of releasing the pressure. Creative minds build their lives around their wounds. What comes to mind, are singer-songwriters, artist, poets, and writers. I know for me, writing is a way to release and find understanding, compassion, and love for myself, and hopefully some others too.
Self-love is the healing salve; love is what we came here for, and no matter which way we spin the old stories in our minds, as long as we sell out ourselves to false beliefs, old habits and withhold love from ourselves, we are the ones preventing our own healing.
The more we practice loving ourselves, the easier it will be to release all those lies we tell ourselves.
Through a practice self-compassion and giving ourselves what we desire from others; acceptance, approval, love, validation, understanding, appreciation, etc. We will get everything we want, after all, you can’t draw from a dry well.
It always begins with us. More importantly, it is what we tell ourselves throughout the day that will make us or break us.
Always be kind to yourself first, and FORGIVE YOURSELF, you’ve done nothing wrong.