“When you finally learn that thoughts of attack and of being attacked are not different, you will be ready to let the cause go.”ACIM
RECOGNIZING DEFENSIVE ENERGY
We all do it; we sometimes find the need to defend ourselves based on what someone said about us or a situation that we might disagree with, no matter what the intention was/is.
To understand and recognize that you are defending or resisting anything or anyone, you have to ‘NOTICE’ you are doing it.
“Begin by seeing the tendency to protect and defend yourself. There is a deep, innate tendency to close, especially around your soft spots. But eventually, you will notice that closing creates tremendous work. Once you close, you must ensure that what you protect doesn’t get disturbed (more defense behaviors). You then carry this task for the rest of your life–it becomes a habit until you notice you are doing it.
The alternative is to become conscious enough to watch the part of your being constantly trying to protect itself. You can give yourself the ultimate gift by deciding not to do that anymore.
The reward for not protecting your psyche is liberation. You can walk through this world without a problem in your mind. You can have fun experiencing whatever happens next. You begin to realize that it is not true; words can not harm you; Thoughts about what you think is being said are hurtful; Thoughts apply meaning to the hurt we believe is being inflicted upon us.
You no longer have to listen to “What will they think of me?” or, “Oh God, I wish I hadn’t said that. It sounded so stupid.” You can relax and know it is a perception projected onto you unless you believe what they are doing or saying, which is a ‘choice’ too.
Once you’ve committed to freeing yourself of that scared person inside, you will notice that there is a clear decision point at which your growth takes place. Changing your mind about whatever it is is the point at which you start finding your energy change.
For instance, if somebody says or does something that irks you, you might feel your energy shift inside. You might experience a tightening and notice thoughts starting to gear up for defense.
That is your cue— it’s time to ‘NOTICE’ what is happening. Noticing is hard! It takes practice to see in a consistent way how our minds project and how projection is always an attack.
That is the moment you can ask yourself, “is this about me, or is it a perception being projected onto me.
Bottom line: Which one do I believe?
These situations are holding up a mirror to ourselves so that we can see what WE are doing; so that we can better understand that we are the ones who are creating our experience through our responses to everything life brings.
When we see this, we can stop blaming ourselves, blaming others, our past, our circumstances, and the world. This is the freedom we long for, but when we make it about us and run stories that are not true, we are trapped in a prison of our own making.
Notice the tendency to defend yourself. (Byron Katie says defense is the first act of war.) Notice the energy shift in your being. This is your heart closing to protect your ego – your false sense of self – the part of your being that feels threatened and takes everything personally.
Every moment is the moment we can forgive ourselves–We did nothing but make it up like a puppet constructed of wood; it only has meaning when someone picks it up and gives it meaning.
Self-forgiveness; is a decision to FREE yourself from the aggressions you think you committed towards yourself or another.
You are innocent and have done nothing wrong. This is life; this is our playing field to notice what we give attention to. To see what is bringing us peace or taking us away from it.
By not forgiving, you continue to exist in the old Energy and old storyline.
This Energy (represents a lack of understanding of the truth of who we are–one mind with everything).
One mind means acceptance of another’s belief systems without getting fired up and thinking you have to change a mind or defend yourself. Both responses are an act of war.
Choosing to forgive is simply the decision to stop withholding forgiveness; it is choosing what you want to believe about yourself unapologetically.
It is the decision to choose love over fear.
You let go of your problem, person, or situation and turn the solution over to the right mind of universal Energy — Energy cannot be destroyed, only transformed. You are the decision maker.
In other words: when you are ready to forgive yourself, that is the moment you let yourself out of your mind’s prison of false beliefs.
The time is now to move on from those old beliefs and thought patterns.