How often do we take the time to write ourselves a love letter? I would imagine not many of us do.
We are swamped in our lives that we forget the importance of sending ourselves a note of acknowledgment.
Our search for love appears external-shopping, relationships, sports, recognition, etc. That search for joy, peace, perfect partner, repair, resolve, etc., leads us outside ourselves to NEVER find the answer or get our needs met.
NO situation, Mate, bank balance, job, or Marriage, will create peace and happiness.
These quick fixes will NOT last— at least permanently.
Happiness, joy, and peace are an inside perspective and DENIED to us only by ourselves.
Why not begin a practice of writing yourself a letter–it doesn’t have to be a long letter, but a few words to bring awareness to yourself.
Time Required: you decide, but if you need direction, how about 5 mins. Keep it simple.
If you can do this practice at least once per week or once per month, that would be great.
Where to begin
First but not the body of this exercise—Identify something about yourself that makes you feel ashamed, fearful, guilty, insecure, or not good enough. It could be related to your personality, behavior, abilities, relationships, or other parts of your life.
***We are just noticing–not judging those aspects— but giving those qualities a place, a voice to be acknowledged.
Now write that down and NOTICE how you feel. I am positive not too good. But… Let is all hang out, nobody will see this but you.
Now for the good stuff.
Write a letter to yourself that is loving, compassionate, understanding and accepts you for all that you are.
As you write, here are a few guidelines to help you get started:
Need some ideas? Ask yourself:
What is good about me?
What am I proud of?
What do I see in me that no one else has had the opportunity?
What positives are hidden in the negatives?
- Feel as if there is someone who loves and cherishes you for who you are, not who they want you to be. What would that person say to you about you?
- We all have aspects, traits, qualities about ourselves that we don’t like– but let’s not focus on that; not one single person is without a perceived flaw. Write something you wish you loved that might be buried deep within the subconscious that is waiting for you to put it into words.
- Think about the beautiful life events that have created this moment for you, which can include family life, friends, all external circumstances that have contributed to your well-being. Remember, we can always find all the negative things that have contributed—but we are not going to focus on that. Just notice them, but don’t pen them into this letter to yourself.
- Biw with compassion, where have you put yourself second to be loved by someone or something other than yourself? Focus on how gentle changes could make you feel liberated, happier, healthier, or more fulfilled–remember to avoid judging yourself but beef up the love you want for yourself.
- When you feel you are done writing the letter, put it down for a little while you can come back to it later and reread it.
- Think about rereading your letter like a meditation it may be especially helpful whenever you’re feeling low and unworthy of yourself. Rereading is a gentle reminder to bring more self-compassion to yourself.
**”Remember it is the mind that puts all our feelings into action, and it is the mind that can change them. See how powerful you are.” Dolby Dharma