&#@*^I come with Static!#*%^&

 

I was talking to a friend yesterday, one who knows me inside and out for over decades. Actually, I met her in the early seventies when she was sixteen years old. I was twenty-three.

This friend grew up in a Puerto Rican/I Italian family, so she knows from static. She is an only child, as I am the oldest of a litter of nine. A lot of noise in both types of circumstances. Silence and chaos can be one in the same.

My friend moved out of state some years back. Therefore we don’t see each other often, but our connection is as if we live next door.

She is the perfect phone call away.  She is MY go-to girl, the voice of reason.

I had a quandary about something and wanted some input. I love to check it with a trusted neutral confident, at least you will get some objective truth and not some smoke up your ass answer. LOL.

After a good banter, I can digest what I want, and place value on what was said, and proceed accordingly. It is not the end all, get all.

What it is-is information and another perspective to think about.

Self-love is all about loving ALL of you, and that love spills over to other relationships. Loving ourselves affords us to have our cups runneth over, and gives us plenty to share with compassion.

To shorten it up, I told my friend about ‘the’ situation; a friend stopped me from expressing and/or reiterating my story, my pain, my anger about a situation I was experiencing in my life. After all, that is how I process, mulling it over and over until I am sick of it, and myself and eventually let it go after learning my lesson.

I will assume said friend did not want to hear it for her own prejudice reasons. I get it, some people just want to be in relationships that come with ‘NO DRAMA,‘ living the status quo is ok with them. Boat rockers are too shaky.

When a person is grieving, and you often hear people say, “WOW, it has been years, they should be over it by now, or have moved on.” 

Really!!!!!!

I did not know processing had an end date, especially one according to someone else timeline.

I know, I know, the GOOD opinions of others. LOL

The beauty in each of us is that we are wired up emotionally very different from our peers. We process on our own time according to how we feel, not how the other feels. Sometimes we all forget that we are the same but very different.

There is no ‘LIKE ME,’ you are ‘LIKE YOU.’  Never forget that!

There was a lot more to our conversation, but the end result of our discussion was; “Dolby you come with static.”  If you can’t be who you are in your relationships, then you must reevaluate who you share yourself with.

If we have someone’s in our lives who try to ‘shorten us up’ because they don’t want to hear it or talk about it, it’s time for assessments.  Relationships shapeshift all the time for this, that and the other, and they need to; That is how we grow.

We ALL come with some noise, and we are all navigating our lives to find our peace. When we feel the presence of the best of us, we all benefit greatly.

How do we get there?  With people who are filled with a sense of self, a compassionate ear, and a loving presence.  I know this to be true after all that is my profession, I listen and help guide you to your own discovery, I don’t cut you off, I don’t tell you to get over it, or I don’t want to talk about it.  Nothing like someone telling you to put a mussel on it.

We all have a friend or two like that,  I call them the back burner friend, they can’t or won’t handle the heat. That is ok, it has to be, we all play a role in this game of life.  We all play a role in other peoples lives. We all show up for each other to teach us about ourselves.

The gest of my story is; I come with Static, and I am ok with that; that is how I grow. That is how I learned more about myself and the company I keep. I love who I AM, I embrace my perceived flaws, and I know I am not everybody’s cup of tea.

What I do know for sure is I know me.

We are ALWAYS processing ourselves, working to make peace and live our lives according to ‘who we are,’ not who you want me to be so you can be happy and comfortable.

Each day, I feel my thoughts in my body, and I listen to heartfelt advice. 

“It’s not easy being yourself because it can invite envy and attention. But if you hide your authentic self from the rest of the world, a unique life will pass you by. There is splendor in being true to yourself.”
― Margot Datz,