We think to have somebody in our lives will complete our lives, make us feel fantastic and a host of other things; and most of the time they do and can. But the truth is other people come into our lives to
stir shit up,’ not meaning to but we do. We show up with our suitcases filled with our emotional travels and start-up packing our bags.
We know that is true; we complain, our friends complain, and of course, the media lets us know who crashes and burns. Relationships can be trying. But that is what life is about; people.
The challenge or opportunity depending on how you see it, feel it, and respond to it; is the knowing and or not knowing ourselves that can make or break our hearts. But as we know, we don’t always get what we want, but what we will get, will become our most significant expansion.
I think the obstacle becomes for most of us should we choose to be in relationships of any kind, and most of us do is to not habitually seek the approval from others. This approval-seeking started out when we were young needing to get what we wanted as children, as we grew up and branched out into the big world we continued the dance of making other people happy at the expense of ourselves.
The problem with this wanting to please and make others happy at our expense is a big price to pay; it steals parts of us until we are so fragmented we have lost who we want to become. Our caregivers forgot to mention; DON”T lose yourself in your relationships. Meanwhile, our essential selves get tucked away until we have lost the opportunity to become whole and know who we are and want we need.
Living life to please someone else is a full time and exhausting; this can wreak havoc on our lives; makes us sick, robs our self-esteem, self-confidence and our sense of self.
If you are willing to take some honest inventory of the people in your life, you might see the who you let suck the life out of you. Not that they are terrible people, because after all, you are freely giving away your power in exchange for an emotional dish of approval.
Isn’t life grand all these well-meaning people show up as we show up for them all for the highest good of relationships. Funny how it doesn’t feel so high when the lesson is downright tumultuous.
Each day take some inventory and lighten your load. Put the energy vampires on the back burner and take some time getting to know yourself without all the relationship distractions. The only person that can genuinely bring inner-peace and inner-joy is you. When you feel good about yourself that is self-love!
“Until we are able to love and take care of ourselves, we cannot be of much help to others.” Thich Nhat Hanh