I was watching a TV series and was touched by the monologue delivered by the main characters analogy about his depth of pain, what he felt was at the core of his being driving his abuses and addictions.
He said’ “They say adversity shapes us and molds us. But in the case of abuse, it just warps us. We never grow straight and tall, always twisted and broken. At the hands of abuse, we see ourselves through the lens of someone else’s torture and fucked up fantasy. Every mirror we look into is a ‘funhouse’ mirror. The time prior is the last time we saw of ourselves. ”
That wounded heart is profound and holds so much truth, it is real, our heart does break and dark matter enters. How we were handled right after our entrance into this life; and after; can make or break us. It is not an easy road to reshape our existence when we have been tortured and traumatized mentally and physically by the hands or words of the abusers, caregivers or other people.
To begin to move back into ourselves after such atrocities takes great courage and often we have tortured ourselves beyond recognizing what is real anymore. There is no single way home. Unfortunately, those who are so far down the rabbit hole are on the path of self-destruction, others might find grace in a situation, person or experience that brings awareness into their lives. No matter what most of us have suffered some form of disrespect of our existence. Evidently from their pain and suffering. It is hard to see ourselves when we are numbing, and dumbing down for the sake of self-perseverance. We hurt others they hurt us and it can be a vicious cycle until we wake up.
Finding the way to liberation is filled with traps, obstacles, and illusions all backed by a promise. So what do we do? How do we rid the stress from our cells that permeate our souls, heart, and body-mind; Other peoples stories that have been ingrained in our souls? How do we feel safe and trust?
Keep practicing awareness because from that vantage point there is a great understanding of humanity and not just on the surface but the trickle-down effect it has on the all previous generations of humankind.
The answer is different for everyone. The way back is also the way in; in through the outdoor. If we can allow a little kindness for ourselves, we find the resilience that resides within and nourishes that with self-love, compassion, empathy, understanding. Not the attributes of feeling sorry for the self, but the characteristics that feed and soothe the heart into healing, rising, restoring the light within.
It is time to stop the blame and shame and shower ourselves with a little more love and understanding that is the way to repair, recover and resolve oneself. It all begins with YOU!
Each day I breathe!
Evolving is not a becoming but an unfolding of what is already present with…